


Truth

by whereiismymindd



Series: Rainy Nights [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6409198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereiismymindd/pseuds/whereiismymindd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>16-year-old Anakin hears a rumor about his master. Obi Wan tells him the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Third part of the Rainy Nights series. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I don't own them.

The smell of rain and the lightening in the distance were making Anakin’s heart beat faster. He had gone out to dinner with some other padawans, and now they were sitting in the gardens, gossiping about knights and masters and sharing a bottle of wine someone had managed to sneak into the Temple.

Anakin, however, had had enough. He had already argued with another padawan over some rumors about his master, and the approaching storm was doing nothing to calm his nerves. He got up, rubbing the dirt out of his tunics with his hands, and announced he was leaving.

‘What? Come on, Anakin! Stay a little longer!’ shouted one of the padawans, a humanoid girl who seemed to have a crush on him.

Anakin smiled, but turned and started walking away. ‘Sorry, I have to go!’ he shouted over his shoulder.

He heard a chorus of boos but he kept walking, lifting his middle finger at his friends, earning some laughs and some insults.

  


When he arrived at their quarters, Obi Wan was lying on the couch, reading a book. He looked up, surprised.

‘Padawan. You are back early today.’

‘Yeah,’ he said, trying to appear relaxed. ‘There’s a storm coming.’

‘Ah.’

Obi Wan knew of his fear of the rain, he didn’t need to say anything else. However, his thoughts must have shown on his face, because his master was regarding him with a frown.

‘Is everything alright?’ he asked, pulling himself into a sitting position and closing his book.

Anakin knew he needed to talk to Obi Wan, but he didn’t really know how to broach the subject. How would the older man react? He had seemed so relaxed when he arrived, his copper hair, which he was letting grow, was still wet from the shower. He was in his inner tunics and leggings, no boots. His green eyes were untroubled. It was so rare to catch him like that, so… carefree.

‘Yes,’ he said, sitting beside his master, but avoiding his eyes by looking intensely at the coffee table.

Obi Wan remained silent, giving him the time to think.

As much as he hated to upset his master, Anakin _needed_ to know. He took a deep breath. ‘So, I heard a crazy rumor today.’

‘Really?’ answered Obi Wan. Anakin didn’t need to face him to picture the look of mild surprise on his master’s face. His voice said it all, and he knew Obi Wan better than he knew himself… or so he had thought until that day.

‘Yes. About you and Qui Gon.’

He heard Obi Wan laugh. ‘You’re going to have to be more specific than that, Padawan.’

Anakin turned to look at his master. He needed to see his face when he said it. His master eyes were regarding him with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

‘A padawan said that you were a couple.’

Time seemed to stand still. Obi Wan froze, eyes wide. All the color seemed to drain from his face and the knuckles of the hand that was clutching the book went white. 

‘So it _is_ true,’ Anakin gave a humorless laugh. ‘I told him he was crazy. That you would never do that. That I would have noticed. That you would have _told_ me.’

‘Padawan… I…’

Anakin had never seen his master so upset. He was shaking and he didn’t seem to be able to form words. Suddenly, Obi Wan closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths.

Anakin knew what he was doing. He was using some relaxation techniques and releasing his fears and insecurities into the Force. A couple of minutes later, his master’s body was relaxed again and he had a gentle smile on his face. Sighing, Obi Wan turned to look at him.

‘Sorry about that. It is… It’s still a difficult subject for me.’ Obi Wan cleared his throat. ‘Yes, we were lovers. I didn’t know it was public knowledge, though.’

Anakin just stared, with an open mouth, trying to come to terms with what had just come out of his master’s mouth. He admitted it. He used the word _lovers_. What was going on?

He was so shocked he didn’t even hear the storm break.

‘You have questions.’

‘I have like a million questions, Master,’ the teenager said honestly.

Obi Wan’s smile widened.

‘Ask whatever you want, Padawan. I promise to answer as truthfully as I can.’

Anakin put his elbow on the back of the couch and let his head rest on his hand. What did he want to know? There were so many things he wanted, _needed_ to ask. Where to begin?

‘How?’ he said finally, deciding to start at the beginning. ‘How did it happen?’

Obi Wan took a deep breath. ‘There are two things you need to understand, because they are important. The first one is that I was of age. I was 19 when it happened. The second one is that _I_ approached _him_ , and not the other way around. It is not okay for a master to approach his padawan, because he is the one in a position of power. Do you understand that, Padawan?’

Anakin nodded. ‘Yes. But how… You said you didn’t know it was public knowledge. Were you keeping it a secret from everybody? How did you manage to do that?’

‘Not exactly. There are… let’s say… unwritten rules that you need to follow in a case like ours. We had to let the Council know. Qui Gon absolutely refused to let them have control over his love life.’ Obi Wan smiled fondly, remembering his master. ‘But I told him we couldn’t jeopardize my training, and that we should have the Council on our side. So he agreed to do it, for me. The Council approved of our relationship, but they asked us to be very discreet. They thought we could set a dangerous example for other masters and padawans, and I happen to agree.’

‘You _agree_? Was it bad? Did something happen?’ Anakin asked, unable to keep the worry and anger from showing in his voice. His hands were curling into fists. Had Qui Gon hurt his master?

‘Oh, no! It was… Wonderful. It was wonderful,’ answered Obi Wan, and for a second he seemed lost in memories. He suddenly shook his head and looked at him again. ‘But you need to understand that a relationship between a master and a padawan is very hard work. There are many issues which are inherent to the master/padawan relationship and which can really complicate a love relationship. Mainly power issues.’

Anakin felt bile rise to his throat. What did he mean? _Power_ issues? Had Qui Gon…?

But his master seemed to read his thoughts.

‘Anakin, no! Qui Gon didn’t do anything. It’s… You’re only sixteen, maybe you are too young to understand…’

‘I am not a child anymore, Master,’ snapped Anakin.

Obi Wan sighed and his shoulders deflated. ‘No, you are not. I know you are not. Sorry. What I mean by power issues is that, whether we wanted it or not, we weren’t equals. It could be hard sometimes, drawing the line, knowing when to be master and padawan, and when to be Qui Gon and Obi Wan. Maybe we would argue about something, and Qui Gon would give me an order, and I would get mad. It could be hard, sometimes, to see him as my superior. And it was very hard for him to let go of his responsibilities and just _be_ with me. He didn’t want to lose my respect. It was a very fine line we were walking. But let me assure you, Padawan, he _never_ abused his power. He _never_ took advantage of me. And when we argued, he was usually right.’

Anakin felt his muscles relax, relieved. However, there was something that was still bothering him. Something about the fact that his master had been in a relationship with his own master was making him feel uneasy, and he couldn’t understand why. He would need to meditate on that later.

But he still had questions.

‘How come I never knew? How come you never told me?’

Obi Wan closed his eyes, trying to relax on the couch again. He seemed so tired. ‘Well, like I said, we had to hide our relationship from most people, and we got very good at it. _Very_ good. And as for why I never told you…’ Obi Wan looked into his eyes again. ‘You were just a kid, Anakin. What was I supposed to say?’

‘So… When Qui Gon died…’

Obi Wan tilted his head and gave him a small smile, his eyes sad. ‘I lost my master _and_ my lover. Yes.’

Anakin suddenly got up and started pacing. ‘Stars, Master! You should have told me! I could have done something!’ he said, gesturing wildly with his hands, clearly frustrated. He couldn’t even imagine the amount of pain his master must have felt. It hurt just to think about it.

‘Like what, Anakin?’ Obi Wan replied, overly calm.

‘I could have been there for you! I would have taken care of you! I don’t know, something!’ he screamed, and silently cursed when he felt his eyes start to burn.

‘Anakin, you did all that for me, don’t you realize? You _saved_ me. If I hadn’t become your Master, I don’t know what I would have done.’

Anakin stopped pacing, and kneeled in front of his master, his eyes wide and full of tears. ‘ _I_ saved _you_?’

Obi Wan nodded, and with a smile on his face, he leaned forward and placed a hand on his apprentice’s shoulder.

Anakin shivered. Their eyes locked.

‘You did.’

Anakin shook his head. ‘No. _You_ saved _me_.’

‘I guess we saved each other.’

‘I guess we did.’

His master’s gaze was so serene, Anakin found himself quickly getting lost in it. If he kept staring much longer, he would drown in those eyes. He had to leave.

Clearing his throat, he got up, avoiding Obi Wan’s gaze.

‘Thank you for answering my questions, Master. I will go to sleep now.’

‘You do that, Padawan. Good night.’

Anakin left without looking back and locked himself inside his room. He pressed his forehead against the closed door and breathed deeply. What was happening to him? Why was he so upset about Qui Gon and Obi Wan’s relationship? It wasn’t any of his business. Why was it bothering him so much?

And what about his reactions to his master? Why was his body reacting so strongly to him? It was like he couldn’t control himself.

He kicked the door, and screamed in frustration. His master had told him something personal, something painful. And what had he done? He basically ran away. He panicked and ran away. He was such a coward. An idiotic, insensitive coward. He should go and apologize for overreacting.

Anakin opened the door and went to his master’s room. What he heard broke his heart into a million pieces. Obi Wan was crying. He could hear the sobs even through the closed door. The teenager was at a loss. What could he do? He wanted to go and comfort Obi Wan. Oh, how he wanted to go inside and put his arms around him, run his hands through his hair and tell him everything was going to be okay. But his master would feel mortified if he found him like this. Obi Wan was _always_ in control. He was always serene, calm, relaxed. He would feel humiliated if his padawan saw him in such a vulnerable state. “ _Power issues_ ,” Anakin thought, and suddenly, he understood what his master had been trying to explain before.

Feeling utterly useless, Anakin went back to his room and closed the door.


End file.
